Not What You Want To Hear At Sunday Morning Breakfast, Even If It's At A Cafe In The Tenderloin

Guy At Counter Talking On Cell Phone: "I went to the worst leather bar last night. It was a level 9. All I could smell was grundle. It was absolutely frightening."

OVERHEARD BY NATE

Woman, To Other Woman, Coming In From Highly Inappropriate Smoke Break

"Well, you should just get the 'landing strip' and take care of the rest yourself."

OVERHEARD BY BRIAN

Michael Scott Wannabe

Bank Teller: "Hey, today is Friday the 13th! Scaaaarry!"
Manager: "Yep. And I hope you're abducted, then killed by a masked murderer."
Bank Teller: "What?! Oh my God, you're evil!"
Manager: "Yeah, so...'good kill' to you!"
Bank Teller: "What???"
Manager: "Like when you wish someone 'good will'...only in this case you wish people 'good kill'."
Bank Teller: "Oh...."
Manager: "No, but seriously. I'd feel kinda bad if that really happened to you."
Bank Teller: "No, you wouldn't. You would laugh at the irony."
Manager: "Yeah, you're right...."

OVERHEARD BY C.C.

Girl Who Dreams Big

"Mom, you know what we should have for dinner tomorrow? Casserole!"

OVERHEARD BY TARA

Five-Year-Olds At A Birthday Party

Boy: "When I grow up, I'm going to be a fire hydrant."
Girl: "You can't be a fire hydrant!"
Boy: "My mommy said I can be whatever I want when I grow up."
Girl: "Your mom's an idiot!"

OVERHEARD BY AMANDA

At A Job Fair For Gift Shop Positions At A Zoo

Interviewer: "So tell me about your current job. What's your favorite thing about it?"
Potential Employee: "Well, it's the only job I found where I can legally dance on the counter tops."

OVERHEARD BY JESSICA

'Yeah, Well, Actually....'

Guy: "I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid!"

OVERHEARD BY JIM

12-Year-Old Watching Slow-Mo Replay During Super Bowl

"Their butts are jiggly!"

OVERHEARD BY JESSICA

'And A Diet Coke...'

Woman: 'I'd like the full fry-up, please, with extra bacon. And two slices
of toast and marmalade.'
Assistant: 'Do you want butter or margarine on the toast?'
Woman: 'Oh, marmalade. I'm on a diet.'

OVERHEARD BY O.B.