Girl Who Obviously Doesn't Have TiVo

“Oh my God, Java Juice is like the greatest invention known to man!”

OVERHEARD BY SIOBHAN

Drunk Guy At Death Cab For Cutie Concert, To Lucky Girlfriend

"I mean, if you weren't around, you know, if you weren't in my life, you know, it's like, I got my music, you know? I'd be all right."

OVERHEARD BY ISAAC

Overheard At 24th And Potrero. Unclear If Said By Man, Woman Or Hooker

"My panties are like hot pants tonight. Whoooooooo!"

OVERHEARD BY JACKSON

Creepy Mom Agressively Hugging 9-Year-Old Boy

"Your mother is allowed to violate your personal space. Nobody else is, but your mother is!"

OVERHEARD BY CHRISTINE

Guy Thinking "But These Go To Eleven"

Old Guy: "I have a Mr. Coffee, but I use it to brew tea. I put in tea bags, and I brew tea."
Young Guy: "You should call it Mr. Tea.... Right?.... Instead of Mr. Coffee?"
Old Guy: "Yeah, but.... I use mine to brew tea."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy I Can't Wait To Hire As My Lawyer

"I think I'm going to be late to the bar exam.... Oh well, if I am, I am."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Girl Who Must Think It's Contagious

Girl 1: "Do you want to see them while you're in town?"
Girl 2: "God no. They have a baby."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Boy With Mean Mom Who Wants The Cavity-Terrorists To Win

Boy: "I want a toothbrush."
Mom: "You don't need a toothbrush."
Boy: "But I don't haaavvve a toothbrush."
Mom: "Yes you do. I just bought you an electric Spiderman toothbrush."
Boy: "But electric is baaaaaaddddddd!"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Girl On Castro-Bound MUNI Whose Gaydar Has Really Improved

"I used to date a guy who looks like those guys over there.... He was gay."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Cell Phone Girl Helping Her Man Relate

"Hello?... I'm at Target...Yeah, well, you know how you like football? Well, I like shopping."

OVERHEARD BY JENNIFER

Guy On Really Large Woman's Really Small Shirt

"They don't make red striped shirts in her size. It'd be too easy to find Waldo."

OVERHEARD BY JEFF

MUNI Guy Who's Flummoxed By Munchkins

"Wait. I thought her dad was the mayor of Munchkinland. God, it's so confusing."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

(Obviously) White Guy Shaking It On The Dance Floor

"Look at me, I'm crinkling! Or is it krunkling?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

D&D Guy Attempting To Flirt With Goth Girl

"If you were my accomplice, I'd share my spoils with you."

OVERHEARD BY ANDY (VIA SIMON)

Guy Exiting Lingerie Store

"Somehow I don't think I could take myself seriously in a thong."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Muscular Guy In Castro

"We're doing the same thing we do every night: working out, hitting a bar, then working out again."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Proud Mom On Daughter's Open-Mindedness

"With Traci, it doesn't matter. If it has alcohol in it, she'll drink it."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Sixth Grader Discussing History With Friend

Girl: "Is Ronald Reagan dead?"
Friend: "I'm guessing history isn't your greatest subject."
Girl: "No, but I'm good at social studies."

OVERHEARD BY ROHAN

Guy On Cell Phone Who's Irrationally Exuberant About Flooring

"You know that wood floor? We, we, we -- we finished the whole thing!!"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Guy On Cell Phone Who's Confused? Forgetful? A Moron?

"How's your boyfriend doing? Paulo? Pablo? Fabio?....Michael, right. How's Michael?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Pre-Teen Zoo Volunteer Telling Guest About Hedgehog

Pre-teen: "His name is Snap. Can you guess his brother's name?"
Guest: "Crackle and Pop?"
Pre-teen: "That's right. Except it's just Crackle. Pop died."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Girl With Eye For Detail

"Do you remember Pamela? Her eye cocked off to the side a little bit?"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Crazy Man Wearing One Flip-Flop And Pushing Wheelchair Full Of Personal Belongings, To Security Guard

"I'm not homeless, silly!"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Guys At Loud Restaurant Table

Guy 1: "Why are we applauding?"
Guy 2: "Because Doug's so good at dividing and times-ing."

OVERHEARD BY TIM