31 May, 2006

Out-Of-Towner Visiting The Tenderloin For The First Time

"Yeah, it's an interesting neighborhood. Kinda like Juarez. I have a one-legged wino watching my car."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

30 May, 2006

Snarky Chick At Chapeau, On The Fugly Group At The Table Next To Her

"It's a party celebrating the victory of their class-action lawsuit against their plastic surgeon."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

26 May, 2006

Guy In Front Of Inexplicable 'Art' At DeYoung Museum

"I can see why that one's 'Untitled.'"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

24 May, 2006

Enlightened Woman In Macy's Shoe Department

"I think they're cute...but I don't think it's cute how they make my feet red and puffy."

OVERHEARD BY MK

23 May, 2006

Older Patron At Threepenny Opera, To Usher Using Flashlight To Show Latecomer To Her Seat (Ten Minutes Into Act II)

"What are you doing?! It's bad enough that the show is bad! You're just making it worse!!"

OVERHEARD BY ISAAC

22 May, 2006

Woman With 5-Year-Old At Park Without Bathroom

"Well, I guess let's go in the bushes and I'll use a plastic bag like I do with the dog."

OVERHEARD BY MK

19 May, 2006

Mother And High-School-Aged Daughter To Salesperson In Borders

“My daughter needs to read Moby Dick for school. But you know, the old one, from way, way back.”

OVERHEARD BY VICTORIA

18 May, 2006

Guy Talking About His Mailman And Accidentally Entering A Vaudeville Routine

Guy: "Every day I get mail from the same guy. He's middle-aged, got long hair and he's Asian."
Girl: "Why does a long-haired middle-aged Asian man keep sending you mail?"

OVERHEARD BY IRINA

17 May, 2006

16 May, 2006

Two Homeless Guys On Haight Street (Post-Dot-Com-Boom, Obviously)

"My accountant said that after taxes, I'd only get seventy five thou."

OVERHEARD BY MARCUS

15 May, 2006

Dude Also Selling Tickets To Clinton's Inaugural Ball

Scalper: "You need tickets for the game?"
Passerby: "For today's game? Goddamn, it's the fifth inning...."
Scalper: "That ain't my fault."

OVERHEARD BY DARREN

12 May, 2006

Tully's Coffee Chick, To Over-Attentive Customer

"Please don't stare at the barista, sir. This is not a zoo."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

11 May, 2006

Old Guy In Cafe Who's Into Classic Films

"I'm trying to remember the name of a movie. It was by a very famous group from the East, and they all acted like pigs."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

10 May, 2006

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Teen Girl Not Getting An Autograph

"I hate that frickin' Sutton Foster."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

09 May, 2006

Confused Guy Really Into His Walkie-Talkie

"Are you there?....Don't say 'Yes,' say '10-4 Negatory.'"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

08 May, 2006

Woman On The Horrors Of The Soviet Empire

"You don't know who Curious George is?! That's why growing up in Russia is bad. You've had a deprived childhood."

OVERHEARD BY MICHELLE

05 May, 2006

Homeless Guy Who Needs To Update His Material

Beggar: "C'mon, help me out. Be my brother with another mother."
Woman: "Do I really look like a 'brother' to you?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

04 May, 2006

Guy At Wedding Dissing Ex-Coworker

"He didn't really fit in. He was like a black jelly bean. Technically it's still candy, but it's not sweet, and you don't really want it."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

03 May, 2006

Guy Who's Pretty Sure He Likes His Friend

"I have a terrible memory. I remember how I feel about people, but I don't remember why."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

02 May, 2006

Loud Guy Revealing Dubious State Secrets In Thai Restaurant

"No one knows this; it's a military secret. But in New Orleans, they found a dead guy who crashed his car into the levee. That's why they broke. Not Katrina, but some drunk guy."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

01 May, 2006

Titian-Haired Girl Sleuth, On Her Next Assignment

"I'm bummed Emily didn't come to lunch with us. I wanted another chance to check for an Adam's apple."

OVERHEARD BY TIM