31 August, 2005

Girl Who Obviously Doesn't Have TiVo

“Oh my God, Java Juice is like the greatest invention known to man!”

OVERHEARD BY SIOBHAN

30 August, 2005

Drunk Guy At Death Cab For Cutie Concert, To Lucky Girlfriend

"I mean, if you weren't around, you know, if you weren't in my life, you know, it's like, I got my music, you know? I'd be all right."

OVERHEARD BY ISAAC

28 August, 2005

Overheard At 24th And Potrero. Unclear If Said By Man, Woman Or Hooker

"My panties are like hot pants tonight. Whoooooooo!"

OVERHEARD BY JACKSON

26 August, 2005

Creepy Mom Agressively Hugging 9-Year-Old Boy

"Your mother is allowed to violate your personal space. Nobody else is, but your mother is!"

OVERHEARD BY CHRISTINE

25 August, 2005

Guy Thinking "But These Go To Eleven"

Old Guy: "I have a Mr. Coffee, but I use it to brew tea. I put in tea bags, and I brew tea."
Young Guy: "You should call it Mr. Tea.... Right?.... Instead of Mr. Coffee?"
Old Guy: "Yeah, but.... I use mine to brew tea."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

24 August, 2005

Guy I Can't Wait To Hire As My Lawyer

"I think I'm going to be late to the bar exam.... Oh well, if I am, I am."

OVERHEARD BY MK

23 August, 2005

Girl Who Must Think It's Contagious

Girl 1: "Do you want to see them while you're in town?"
Girl 2: "God no. They have a baby."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

22 August, 2005

Boy With Mean Mom Who Wants The Cavity-Terrorists To Win

Boy: "I want a toothbrush."
Mom: "You don't need a toothbrush."
Boy: "But I don't haaavvve a toothbrush."
Mom: "Yes you do. I just bought you an electric Spiderman toothbrush."
Boy: "But electric is baaaaaaddddddd!"

OVERHEARD BY MK

19 August, 2005

Girl On Castro-Bound MUNI Whose Gaydar Has Really Improved

"I used to date a guy who looks like those guys over there.... He was gay."

OVERHEARD BY MK

18 August, 2005

Cell Phone Girl Helping Her Man Relate

"Hello?... I'm at Target...Yeah, well, you know how you like football? Well, I like shopping."

OVERHEARD BY JENNIFER

17 August, 2005

Guy On Really Large Woman's Really Small Shirt

"They don't make red striped shirts in her size. It'd be too easy to find Waldo."

OVERHEARD BY JEFF

16 August, 2005

MUNI Guy Who's Flummoxed By Munchkins

"Wait. I thought her dad was the mayor of Munchkinland. God, it's so confusing."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

15 August, 2005

(Obviously) White Guy Shaking It On The Dance Floor

"Look at me, I'm crinkling! Or is it krunkling?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

12 August, 2005

D&D Guy Attempting To Flirt With Goth Girl

"If you were my accomplice, I'd share my spoils with you."

OVERHEARD BY ANDY (VIA SIMON)

11 August, 2005

Guy Exiting Lingerie Store

"Somehow I don't think I could take myself seriously in a thong."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

10 August, 2005

Muscular Guy In Castro

"We're doing the same thing we do every night: working out, hitting a bar, then working out again."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

09 August, 2005

Proud Mom On Daughter's Open-Mindedness

"With Traci, it doesn't matter. If it has alcohol in it, she'll drink it."

OVERHEARD BY MK

08 August, 2005

Sixth Grader Discussing History With Friend

Girl: "Is Ronald Reagan dead?"
Friend: "I'm guessing history isn't your greatest subject."
Girl: "No, but I'm good at social studies."

OVERHEARD BY ROHAN

07 August, 2005

Guy On Cell Phone Who's Irrationally Exuberant About Flooring

"You know that wood floor? We, we, we -- we finished the whole thing!!"

OVERHEARD BY MK

05 August, 2005

Guy On Cell Phone Who's Confused? Forgetful? A Moron?

"How's your boyfriend doing? Paulo? Pablo? Fabio?....Michael, right. How's Michael?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

04 August, 2005

Pre-Teen Zoo Volunteer Telling Guest About Hedgehog

Pre-teen: "His name is Snap. Can you guess his brother's name?"
Guest: "Crackle and Pop?"
Pre-teen: "That's right. Except it's just Crackle. Pop died."

OVERHEARD BY MK

03 August, 2005

Girl With Eye For Detail

"Do you remember Pamela? Her eye cocked off to the side a little bit?"

OVERHEARD BY MK

01 August, 2005

Guys At Loud Restaurant Table

Guy 1: "Why are we applauding?"
Guy 2: "Because Doug's so good at dividing and times-ing."

OVERHEARD BY TIM