28 September, 2007

'Oh My God, Can't You Even, Like, Read?'

Girl 1: "So did you go to Pennsylvania yourself or did someone else go and bring you back the shirt?"
Girl 2: (Looks at her shirt) "You mean did I go to Philadelphia?"

OVERHEARD BY DANIELLE

27 September, 2007

Old Guy Walking Past Tattoo Parlor

"Got anything you wanna spruce up?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

26 September, 2007

Wrong Woman Asks Wrong Woman About Wrong Woman

Woman 1: "I can't believe that Mary Matalin is going to marry James Carville."
Woman 2: "You mean Marlee Matlin, the actress that's deaf?"
Woman 1: "No Mary Matalin, the Repulican Campaign manager. (To Woman 3) Hey, do you know who Mary Matalin is?"
Woman 3: "You mean Jesus' mother?"

OVERHEARD BY KIM

25 September, 2007

Maybe That's WHY She Wanted A Small

Petite Customer: "Can I have a small in this dress?"
Girl 1 At Counter: "Sure."
Girl 2 At Counter: "Give her a large, she's got a bit of bust."

OVERHEARD BY ANN

24 September, 2007

It's Good To Have Goals

A Kid's First Time To Sleep Outdoors, In A Little Playhouse In The Backyard:
Grannie: "You can come inside if you get scared."
Kid: "No, I'm gonna stay out here until I feel completely unsafe."

OVERHEARD BY JENNIFER

21 September, 2007

We Blame She's Teacher

Girl: "I've failed all of my English quizzes until now. It's not mine fault, though."

OVERHEARD BY ANNA

20 September, 2007

Bad Sales Job At Blockbusters

Mother: "I want a feel-good movie."
Son: "I think this horror movie ends happy."

OVERHEARD BY PSYGUY

19 September, 2007

Customer In Restaurant, Sweet-Talking About His Wife

"She's mad because I took her napkin. I took her virginity twenty years ago, and she's worried about her napkin...."

OVERHEARD BY MELISSA

18 September, 2007

Wannabe Pick-Up Artists In SF Cafe

Guy 1: "You should gain a lot of weight."
Guy 2: "Why?"
Guy 1: "So people will stop thinking you're gay."

OVERHEARD BY MK

17 September, 2007

'No, That's DAFT'

Woman Doing Crossword Puzzle: “What does DEA stand for again? Drugs, Alcohol and Firearms?”

OVERHEARD BY TIM

14 September, 2007

How To Win Friends And Lose Spouses

Guy 1: "How's your wife?"
Guy 2: "Not as good as yours, but she'll do."

OVERHEARD BY SHIPBOB

13 September, 2007

'Pot? Do They Mean Kettle?'

Girl Reading: "'Ignorant'.... (looks to teacher) Do they mean 'stupid'?"

OVERHEARD BY EVA

12 September, 2007

Jesus Is The Reason For The Operation

Lady In A Catholic Church: "I swear, when I get my tummy tuck, I'm getting fat injections in my knees. All this fricking kneeling is KILLING me!"

OVERHEARD BY ALICIA

10 September, 2007

At The Apple Store

Girl: "My friend's getting my old laptop. It's a Dell."
Sales Guy: "That's not a gift! That's a cross to bear!"

OVERHEARD BY LIZZ

09 September, 2007

Wonder If This Conversation Was Repeated Two Hundred Times?

Husband: "This is so cool! I wonder how much it is?"
Wife: "Honey, you're in the Dollar Store."

OVERHEARD BY TRISH

08 September, 2007

Girls In Need Of Remedial Geography

Girl 1: "Do people live in South America?"
Girl 2: "Duh, that's where Spain is."

OVERHEARD BY KRISTEN

07 September, 2007

Old Folks Say The Darndedest Things, Or, Send This To Penthouse, Stat!

Old Guy: "I am stiff all over."
His Wife: "Then shouldn't we get back upstairs to the bedroom? Quickly."

OVERHEARD BY LADY MACLEOD

06 September, 2007

Kids Say The Darndedest Things, Or, Send This To That Family Circus Guy, Stat!

Father: "What flavor ice cream do you want?"
Son: "Do they have blue?"

OVERHEARD BY PSYGUY

05 September, 2007

'In Your Face, Baby Human'

Girl: "So do you think that crawfish are just baby lobsters?"
Boy: "What? No. They have two different names."
Girl: "Well, tadpoles are baby frogs…how do you explain that!"

OVERHEARD BY ADRIENE

04 September, 2007

'No Hablo Pizza'

Old Man Ordering Food At Italian Restaurant:
Man: "I'll have the spaghetti Mariana."
Waitress: "Do you mean Mar-IN-ara?"
Man: "Yeah, that. I dont speak Italian."

OVERHEARD BY ANDREA

03 September, 2007

Two Men Outside A Waterside Pub, Watching Blind People Board A Boat For A Sight-Seeing Trip

Man 1: "Odd, isn't it? Blind people on a sightseeing trip."
Man 2: " Not really. There's bugger-all to see."

OVERHEARD BY OLD BOLINGBROKE

02 September, 2007

Tactful Waiter (In Singapore) Dissuading Woman From Breast-Feeding In Public

"I'm sorry ma'am, there's no outside food allowed."

OVERHEARD BY J LIM

01 September, 2007

No Sympathy For The Middle-Aged And Unattached

Woman 1: "I'm going to die, alone, in this house."
Woman 2: "Upstairs or downstairs?"

OVERHEARD BY MARY