31 October, 2008

Guy Flirting With/Attacking/Fantasizing With/Harassing Wal-Mart Greeter

Guy: "I wish I had some big ol' titties so I could whack you in the face with 'em."

OVERHEARD BY LADYOFTHEICE

30 October, 2008

Why You Must Vote On November 4th

Teen: "Her parents won't let her eat at McDonald's. No McDonald's, no Burger King, no Harvey's... No McDonald's! It's so sad. So, so sad."

OVERHEARD BY JENNIFER

29 October, 2008

Really Really Cheap Little Boy At The Really Really Free Market

Little Boy: (Grabbing used vacuum cleaner and dragging it away) "Okay guys, I got my mom her mother's day present!"

OVERHEARD BY JESSICA

27 October, 2008

Guy About To Spend Quite A Long Time In Wal-Mart

"I'm hungry for some shrimp...Wait, no...Yeah, but something else."

OVERHEARD BY LADYOFTHEICE

22 October, 2008

Wise-Beyond-Her-Years Girl

"I'm not doing tequila shots. I'm not a slut on spring break."

OVERHEARD BY KATE

20 October, 2008

Overheard Outside Target

"I just spent $87 on vitamins. Well, it wasn't ALL vitamins. I also bought a toothbrush."

OVERHEARD BY MK

17 October, 2008

'I'm Really Into That Whole Watchamacallit Stuff. You Know. That TV Stuff. With The Old Guys. Politics!'

College Girl On Cellphone: "Yeah, I was listening to. Um. That guy. You know..... McCain."

OVERHEARD BY STEPHANIE

16 October, 2008

'I Think You're Confusing A Blowjob With A Blowjob'

Tween 1: "I've never had alcohol."
Tween 2: "I have."
Tween 1: "That's 'cause you're a slut."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

14 October, 2008

Guy On The F Train In Lower Manhattan

"Yeah it’s the same way I can tell you’re a hipster, I can tell he's anti-Semitic.”

OVERHEARD BY SIOBHAN

10 October, 2008

Woman With Big Plans For The Weekend

"I was thinking I would drill my tail hole before I paint it."

OVERHEARD BY TASNICKER

09 October, 2008

'T-Shirts? Slurpees? Or, Er, Um...?'

Overheard in Wal-Mart parking lot:

Woman 1: "You know I like 'em large."
Woman 2: "Yeah, I know."

OVERHEARD BY LADYOFTHEICE

07 October, 2008

And The Moral Is: Toothless People Like Movies?

A couple rents 24 movies at a rental store and is awarded bonus treats. Teen daughter goes to the ice cream cooler.

Teen: "Mom, do you want the sundae cone or that one with nuts?"
Mom: "I can't have them, I ain't got any teeth!
Teen: ...
Mom: "I'm getting my teeth for my birthday!"
Dad: "I've been waiting 20 years to get my two front teeth back, and here she goes to the dentist today and is getting a whole mouthful for her birthday."

OVERHEARD BY ALI

02 October, 2008

Two Nurses In A Hospital Elevator, Looking At Pieces Of Paper

"See? I told you there was no difference between night and day."

OVERHEARD BY SMONET

01 October, 2008

The King Of Wise Decisions

Guy: "I'm thinking of doing heroin, but just once. Do you think that's cool?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM