Hot Girl At Halloween Party Who's Going As A Lesbian Next Year

"OW!!! These fucking shoes!"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Woman Who Probably Owns The DVD Of Pretty Woman

"How do you know they're hookers? They're not wearing boas."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Drunk At Party Proposing Philosophical Paradox

"If smoking hash makes you gay, then I'm gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. But I'm not gay."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Amazed Woman At Noe Valley Street Festival

"Wow, I've been here ten minutes and I haven't been asked to sign a petition yet!"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy On...Hmm, I'm Thinking Kentucky

"Every time I go there, I get laid, get beat up or go to jail."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Midwestern Preteen Noticing Group Of Camping Lesbians

"Mom, what do think they are? Some sort of ladies' softball team?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Waitress In The Mission Sums Up The San Francisco Culture War

"It's in the Marina, so cool people have never heard of it."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Woman Exiting Grocery Store And Entering Life Crisis

"I just found out it's not a chain; it's privately owned. Now I feel bad about shoplifting. I'm not sticking it to the Man; I'm sticking it to a man."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy Who Never Watched Buffy

"People DON'T get buried alive, and if they do, they can't get out!"

OVERHEARD BY CHRISTINE

Fifth Graders On MUNI

Boy: "You got to be quiet cause she's tryin' to read the newspaper, and he's readin' a book, and she's tryin' to listen to her ipod."
Girl: "Well then she'd better crank that shit up."

OVERHEARD BY HEIDI

Costumed Little Girl For Whom Ethics Are More Important Than Imagination

Woman: "Oh! Are you a fairy princess?"
Girl: "No, I'm just pretending."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy On MUNI Probably Not Quoting Oscar Wilde

“Man, you’re so stupid you can’t even Google!”

OVERHEARD BY CAMERON

Nick And Nora In The Calendar Store

Guy: "I bet if you read that 'You Might Be A Redneck' calendar, you'd find out you are one."
Girl: "I bet if I read that '14,000 Things To Be Happy About' calendar, you wouldn't be on it."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Woman's Over-Simplistic Analysis Of Amazing Blue Angel Aerial Stunt

"They planned that."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy I'm Glad Isn't My Dad

Girl: "What ever happened to Snuffleupagus?"
Guy: "I think they turned him into potted meat."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Writing Teacher On The Value Of An Education

"Yeah, you guys have been great. But my last class was like, 'My dog ate my homework,' and I was like, 'Yeah, well, your dog ate your $500.'"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Guy Who Knows Where To Get All The Best Homeless Services

"I'm homeless, bitches! Wanna get laid? That's okay, my dick's out of commission anyway. I hooked up with a dominatrix last night."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Guys Demonstrating The Difference Between The Cultures

Brit: "We wanted to tour New Orleans, but now -- well, it's just so sad."
American: "You could still go. Just get a room on the top floor."

OVERHEARD BY TIM