Woman Talking To Herself While Fueling At A Citgo Station

"Gas smells."

OVERHEARD BY AMERICAN GEISHA

Woman Talking To Herself While Reading Menu

"$9.95 comes with coffee or tea and your choice of Bloody Mary -- ooo, in the morning? Really?"

OVERHEARD BY ISAAC

Teen Who Must Really Hate Barry Bonds

"I hate Hilary Duff. She's so skinny, she must be on steroids."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Girls Watching Newscaster Invoke The Spirit Of K. K. Kringle

Girl 1: "Did he just say 'Aryan children need your help this holiday season'?"
Girl 2: "No, he said area children."
Girl 1: "Oh. Thank God."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Witty Noel Coward Banter At Christmas Dinner

Woman: "Why don't you open that wine and let it breathe?"
Man: "If it's not breathing, should I give it mouth-to-mouth?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Mall Santa Who Wasn't Quite Into Character Yet

"Hi. Merry Christmas. Hey, Merry Christmas. Hey, how's it going? Merry Christmas."

OVERHEARD BY MK

At A Fern Bar In San Francisco

"Someday Molly's boyfriend is going to find out she has a blog, and he's going to see all the pictures of her making out with other guys on it..."

OVERHEARD BY AMY

Animators At Party, Flirting In A Rankin/Bass Sort Of Way

Guy: "I know why you like me. I'm too much!"
Girl: "Eh, you're cool. But you're no Heat Miser."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy In Restaurant With Practical Pagan Parents

"They held me back a year, so I think my mom decided private Catholic school was no longer 'worth it.'"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Guy Waxing Nostalgic About His Exotic Childhood

"It was a whole other world. It was Ohio!"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Cell Phone Guy On MUNI Who Was Definitely Telling The Truth

"You should see this haircut I just got. An abomination was perpretrated. Butchery!"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Innovative Guys In Noe Valley Pizza Restaurant

Guy 1: "I want my body donated to science. Except for my testes."
Guy 2: "Maybe you could have those made into little Chinese worry balls for your wife."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy Who Sorta Takes After The Guy In The Previous Post's Grandfather

Guy 1: "It's like when I go to request a song, but I don't know the title or the artist. So I just say, 'Start playing songs and I'll tell you when you get it.'"
Guy 2: "I can't believe you're that annoying."
Guy 1: "At least I admit it."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy Who Sorta Takes After His Grandfather

"Grandma was such an angel. But grandpa was kind of a dick."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Guy In Restaurant Who's A Bonafide Hero

"I wanted a milkshake. But guess what? I didn't get it. Because I care. That jerk was just going to get a milkshake no matter who it affected. But I'm a paragon of empathy."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Woman Who Proves That People Who Live In Glass Houses Shouldn't Take Location Tours

"I was going to take the X-Files tour, but now they've turned it into the 'TV Tour,' and I didn't want to end up with all those geeks who watch Stargate."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Part-Time Fairy, Part-Time Lizard

"It's hard being the tooth fairy. You have to crawl in, on your stomach, like a reptile."

OVERHEARD BY TIM