Must've Been A Philosophy Class

Professor: "So just don't ask stupid questions.... But there are no stupid questions in this class."

OVERHEARD BY LISA

Guy At Farmer's Market Still Waiting For The Punchline

Guy: "If it gets any colder out here, I could qualify for the Olympic Ski Team. Or the Polar Bear Club."
Girl: "I'm a member of the Polar Bear Club."
Guy: "Heh heh."
Girl: "I really am."
Guy: "Heh heh."
Girl: "Really. I am."
Guy: "Heh heh."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Man In Restaurant Eating (I Hope It Was) Tuna

"If I had to become a cannibal, I'd start with the cheek."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Post-Dot-Com-Bubble College Kids On MUNI

Girl: "If you work at Genentech, they're so hooked up: they have a bus that picks you up at BART."
Guy: "Do they have stock options?"
Girl: "...They have parties every Friday."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy Eating French Fries Cooked In Peanut Oil

"I feel sorry for people with peanut allergies, because a life without peanut products is a life I wouldn't care to live."

OVERHEARD BY JEFF

Guy Watching Six High School Girls Dancing In Unison

Guy: "What are you guys?"
Girl: "We're just friends who dance really well."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Refreshingly Honest Girl

Girl 1: "Those are really cute pants."
Girl 2: "Yeah, the problem is that when I bend over, my stomach pops over the waistline."
Girl 1: "Is it because they're low-rise?"
Girl 2: "No, it's because I'm fat."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Girl With Eye Patch, Doing A Little Reassessing

"I need a hook hand or something piratey so I don't just look like a girl in a weird outfit who poked her eye out last week."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy Waiting For Bus In Castro, Watching Jogger Jiggling By

"God, I love Spandex. So vulgar yet so necessary."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Friendly Guy In North Beach To Foreign Tourist

"Don't trust us Westerners. We'll cavort with your women."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy In Bar Channeling L. Ron Hubbard

"The first seven years of life are a reaction. Everything else is a reaction to a reaction to a reaction."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Self-Aware Blonde In Univ. Of Chicago Library At 1 AM

"Usually, the best estimate for me is when I can't feel my teeth anymore."

OVERHEARD BY ASHLEY

Girl Having Difficulty With Car Door, To Guy Also In Car

Girl: "I have a college degree, I swear."
Guy: "You obviously didn't major in Door."

OVERHEARD BY AMY

Gangsta English Lit Majors

Guy 1: "I hate short chapters. It's a fucking cop out."
Guy 2: "Anna Karenina is written in short chapters."
Guy 1: "Fuck Tolstoy."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy In Bar Who's Never Watched CSI

"That guy's got no style. That's the worst crime I can think of."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Smooth-Talking Rich Guy To Berkeley Woman Holding Fistful Of Cash

"Bitch, I ain't broke, I got property!"

OVERHEARD BY CAROLINE

Couple Demonstrating Why Generation X Hasn't Taken Over The World

Guy: "You know what would be a bad job?"
Girl: "Mmm, most of them?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Customer In LA Restaurant (Insert Your Own Joke About The Population Of China)

"I don't want any white rice. It makes me horny."

OVERHEARD BY POLLY

Dumb Guy Impressed By Anyone Smarter Than Him

Guy: "Man, I'm gonna take that dude to Vegas and we're gonna work out a system and we're gonna make a million bucks!"
Girl" "He's only ten!"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Pretty Funny Considering It Was An 87-Year-Old Grandmother

"I want to know who took a bite out of that Apple. Was it Bill Gates?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Woman Convincing Friend To Go To China

"We can eat rice and whatever doesn't look like a monkey head."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Women Petting Dog, Commenting On Its Fur

Aunt: "It almost feels like human hair!"
Cousin: "I know! How did they get it on the dog?"

OVERHEARD BY CHERYL

Motto For The New Year (If You're A Troubled Teen From The Wrong Side Of The Tracks)

"This is how we roll in the o-six."

OVERHEARD BY TIM