Two Friends Discussing Horniness For Women

Girl: "I wish random sluts would just fall out of the sky."
Guy: "I'm trying to pick some up online, but it's not working out too well. Most sluts hang out at bars, not on their computers."

OVERHEARD BY CARRIE

Why, Yes, There Was Drinking Involved

Girl 1: "Take me to my car!"
Girl 2: "You are in your car."

OVERHEARD BY CARRIE

Guy Proving Zero Minus Zero Equals Zero

"It's worse than nothing. It's nothing at all!"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy From Last Post Explaining Himself

"I'm sorry. I've been at Hooters too long."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy On MUNI Empathizing With Friend

"Take a damn laxative and blow yourself loose!"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy Who Should Get A New Roommate If He Makes It Past Tuesday

"My roommate's really bad about giving me messages. He's like, 'Oh, your doctor called three days ago. He said you only have four days to live.'"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Guy Discovering Quirk In Physics Among LA Restaurants

"Toast is the new Griddle, but the Griddle is still the Griddle."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Man Who Disagrees With Just About Everyone

"That 'Two and a Half Men' show is hilarious! Charlie Sheen is a great sitcom actor. He's got perfect comic timing."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Special Valentine's Edition: Overheard On Christmas

Drunk Woman In Norfolk VA: "I hate Christmas! I'm ugly! Somebody buy me a drink!"

OVERHEARD BY MIKE THE KNIFE

Girl To Whom The Only Response Is "With Your Goddamn Tiara"

"Where's your fucking boa?"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Cell Phone-Talking Company Owner Who Just Doesn't Get It

"I'll start being nice when morale improves around there. Until then, the beatings will continue."

OVERHEARD BY SCOTT

Americans And Brits Coming Together

Girl: "People with accents are more interesting."
Guy: "Yeah, Amercians think that. But people in England are..."
Girl" "Mean?"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Same Guy, Half An Hour Later, Still Impressed By Swiss Food Products

"Who knew there were so many different ways to eat cheese?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy Who Just Got Back From Switzerland

"It was nothing but cheese and chocolates."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Old Lady Obviously Glad To Be Dropping Her Friend Off

Old Lady 1: "Got everything?"
Old Lady 2: "Yep. Got all my hopes and all my fears."
Old Lady 1: "Well, that's everything."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Curses, This Dude's Plans Are Foiled Again

Dude: "Lemme ask you: what's your actual instinct on this? You see someone walking down the street, minding his own business, just happens to be burning a stick of incense. Do you think he's trying to cover something up?"
Man: "Yeah."
Dude: "Damn."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy In Cala, On The Already Ridiculous

Guy: "Did you know Mariah Carey has more #1 songs than Elvis and the Beatles?"
Girl: "Combined?"
Guy: "...That'd be ridiculous."

OVERHEARD BY TIM