8-year-Old Hippie Who Clearly Goes To School In San Francisco

"I think we all just need to respect our differences here!"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Kids Say The Most Uncomfortable Things

Kid 1: "This was the thing that made your penis hurt."
Kid 2: "That was when I was littler."

(FYI: It was a metal banister they were sliding down.)

OVERHEARD BY DIANA

Country Singer, To The Three People In The Bar Actually Paying Attention

"Thanks for the pulse-having, song-asking and tip-giving."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy At Airport, Re: Insane Child Running Around And Acting Up

"I'm gonna go hug that kid. Maybe then his mom will start keeping an eye on him."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Lawyers Reminiscing

"Do you remember that one case with the girl who had the botched breast reduction? She said they grew back."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Malapropism Of The Day

"I used a little reverse psychosis on him."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Girl Who Did Not Have A Holly, Jolly Christmas

Guy: "How were your holidays?"
Girl: "They were good. They were weird, but they were fine. And now they're over."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Said In Hell's Kitchen By Young (Read 'Pretentious') Aspiring Actress

"I realized I was treating our relationship the same way I treated my performance in a show..."

OVERHEARD BY ISAAC

How Nicknames Are Bestowed

Guy: "Who's he? Is that Surly Chef?"
Girl: "Nah, there's already a Surly Chef. He can be Dickish Chef."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

A Civilized And Philosophical Break Up

Girl: "If I get fat, it's your fault for breaking up with me."
Guy: "So if you get depressed and can't eat and get skinny, do I get credit?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Unbelievable, Indeed

Guy 1: "Can you believe my dad got my mom a Porsche for Christmas?"
Guy 2: "That's unbelievable. I thought you were Jewish."

OVERHEARD BY JEFF

MUNI's "Officer Malaprop" Working The 38 Geary Bus

"You're not from around here, are you? People around here are more laxative."

OVERHEARD BY DAWN

Woman Drinking Rum Daquiri, Or Perhaps Bain De Soleil

"That totally tastes like suntan lotion to me. But in a good way."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

It Isn't Just Great Minds That Think Alike

"We're on the same page, but it's in the trash can."

OVERHEARD BY MK