Girls In SF Gym

Exercising Girl 1: "You already told me that--like yesterday."
Exercising Girl 2: "Oh, yeah. Sorry, my repertoire isn't that big. I'm not like one of those shows like Friends where they think of funny things to say every episode."

OVERHEARD BY KIRK

Guy On MUNI Who's What, Then, A Psychic?

Guy 1: "So you're saying the moon is going to shrink to the size of a ping pong ball?"
Guy 2: "Yeah, but I'm not a scientist, so I can't tell you how it's going to happen."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Guy Thinking Of...Someone

Guy 1: "St. Nicholas. Isn't he the evil one?"
Guy 2: "No, St. Nick is Santa Claus."
Guy 1: "Oh, I must be thinking of John the Baptist."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Olfactorily Gifted Girl On MUNI

"I don't like her. She smells like the bottom of someone's purse."

OVERHEARD BY MK

13-Year-Old Harry Potter Look-Alike, To Ron Weasley Look-Alike

Kid 1: "It was weird. It was a picture of two gay guys having sex."
Kid 2: "You've lived in San Francisco for thirteen years. You should be used to that."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Special Valentine's Message From A Savvy Server

"Valentine's Day lunch is for people who are having affairs. I've worked every Valentine's Day: the nights are all couples, but the days are all people who say they're coworkers but then grab each other's legs under the table."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Middle-Aged Cell Phone Guy (And Pimp) In Coffee Shop

"David dreamed we were all at the beach and you asked me to sleep with you, and I thought about it and asked everyone's advice and decided that I probably shouldn't . . . Oh, you think if you asked me in real life I'd say no? . . . Okay, well how about I call your bluff and say yes, I will sleep with you . . . When should we meet?"

OVERHEARD BY KATIE

Guy On The Problem With '24'

"The old Jack would've killed him. The old Jack would've killed him and then shot his dad for looking at him that way. The new Jack's a pussy."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Girls In Next Dressing Room

(And it's because babies don't have boobs):

"My boobs don't fit in the baby-doll part."


Same girls, different shirt (and again with the boobs):

Girl 1: "I don't know about this shirt."
Girl 2: "Yeah, it's like your boobs are up touching your chin."


OVERHEARD BY MK

Girl On Haight, After Silently Mulling Something For A Long Time, Turns To Her Guy Friend

"Wait, did you just say that sometimes you wish you were a woman?"

OVERHEARD BY GREG

Woman At San Jose Sharks Hockey Game

"Shoot it! SHOOT IT! WILL YOU JUST FUCKING SHOOT IT???!!!!! ...... Thank you. Nice try."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Is She Complaining, Or Bragging About Her Summer Home In Wisconsin?

"We have a lot of cheese at our house. A LOT of cheese."

OVERHEARD BY MK