Good Guess From Only-Moderately-Informed Guy

Guy: "Steve Martin got married."
Girl: "Really? To who?"
Guy: "I don't know. His girlfriend, I guess."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Guy Working In Old Navy Marketing Department (And Let's Hope He Was Talking About Pants)

"I really have a hard time with girl's bottoms."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Troubles In A Pub

Customer: "I'd like ice in my Coke, please."
Barman: "Sorry, we're out of ice."
Customer: "Bloody global warming."

OVERHEARD BY OB

Woman Exiting Theater (And Entering Rehab)

"It's hard to concentrate on a play when you're loaded on wine."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Little Girl At A Water Park, To The Woman (Presumably Her Mom) Trying To Get Her To Leave

Little Girl: "You're a crazy lady! I hope you never have kids!"

OVERHEARD BY KATIE

Married Couple At Costco, Debating Pros And Cons Of Conspicuous Consumption

He: "They've got a nice bucket."
She: "But we already have a bucket."

OVERHEARD BY SUSAN

Bum On F-Market Streetcar

"I don't steal and I don't drink. I don't steal and I don't drink. I don't steal and I don't drink... (getting off the car) I'M A FUCKING LIAR!"

OVERHEARD BY CARRIE

Woman In British Pub, Searching Through Her Purse

"I've lost that two pound coin -- and it was a new one too."

OVERHEARD BY OB

Sweet Talk In Peet's, Heard Last Valentine's Day

"Your reptilian brain wants to keep you alive, you know?"

OVERHEARD BY RAYANNE

We're Going To Subway, Baby! It's Money!

Woman: "Sorry, the kids are crazy today. My husband's taking the day off, and they're just acting nuts."
Sandwich Artist: "Well, I always say: what happens in Subway stays in Subway."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Hippie Mom To Daughter Checking Out The Money At The Bottom Of A Fountain

"Honey, leave other people's wishes be!"

OVERHEARD BY KC

Guy On Illegal Fireworks Causing Fires Throughout The City

"For me, very good! USA, man!"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Unclear On The Concept

Guy: "What's the soup of the day?"
Server: "Seafood chowder."
Guy: "Does that have fish in it?"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Owner Of Haight Street Bookstore

"We don't allow cell phones here. We have this policy because cell phones make people's heads explode. And then the police would close us down as a crime scene."

OVERHEARD BY "AND THEN HOW WOULD WE BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE WEED?"