A New Martin McDonagh Play, or If This Title Makes Sense To You, Then You Might Be A Theater Geek

Pregnant Woman: "Here, rub my belly." 

Coworker 1: "I'd rather not touch your stomach while you're pregnant. I don't want to give your baby any birth defects."
Coworker 2: "It's okay. I've kicked a pregnant woman before and her kid is fine. I'm pretty sure."
Pregnant Woman: "WHAT?!"
Coworker 2: "Well, she was attacking me. It was self-defense!"

OVERHEARD BY MARGOT