Eight Year Old Soon-To-Be-Insurance-Commissioner At Brunch

“My name is Tyler Lewis, and I approved this breakfast.”

OVERHEARD BY KERRY

Unadvisedly Curious Girl On Cellphone

"So tell me why you think my husband is a douchebag."

OVERHEARD BY EMILY

New Yorker Trying To Grasp The Geography Of The Red States

"Oklahoma... Now what state is that in?"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Hillbillies Need Grooming, Too

Guy 1: "Hey, what's up?"
Guy 2: "Going to get my hair cut."
Guy 1: "Yeah, it's time for me to do that, too, but my barber done got thrown in jail."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Dad To Son Holding Balloon Sword/Penis

Dad: "Who made you this?"
Son: "A clown out on the sidewalk."
Dad: "Was he wearing pants?"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Waitress Ruining All Romantic Notions Of Life At A BBQ Restaurant

Woman: "It smells so good in here!"
Waitress: "Yeah, you should smell my car, my house, my clothes... I wash them and they still smell like meat."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Woman Watching Dad Try To Get Stroller Through Coffee Shop Door

"You can always tell the new ones."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Matching Outfits? Or Beating Victims?

Woman: "You guys are twins!"
Other Woman: "We are! We're black and blue!"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Maybe It's A Rare Buggles B-Side

Hippie Bum In Mission: "Fags killed rock and roll."

OVERHEARD BY JESSICA

Guy Yelling Through Car Window At Slow-Driving Woman At 9:15 AM

"They don't call it rush hour for nothing, lady!"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Overheard By A Water Sign

Man on N train: "I'm getting astrological sign change surgery. I'm a Libra right now but I don't feel like a fire sign. I need to be an earth sign. I'm thinking of becoming a Taurus."
Woman on N train: "Really? I'm a Taurus."
Man on N train: "Oh? When were you born?"
Woman on N train: "April 28th. Same as Hitler."

OVERHEARD BY TANIA

And The New Yorker Would Probably Caption It: "As Well They Should Be..."

Girl At DSW Shoe Warehouse Justifying Purchases To Friend: "All my dress shoes are on their last legs!"

OVERHEARD BY ELIZABETH

Girl Inventing "LYLAC"

"Jeff I love like a brother. Jason I love like a cellmate."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

High-Minded Theory On Low-Minded Films

"Movies have gotten so predictable that they're no longer funny. There's always a big conflict and then everything gets resolved. It takes the humor right out of it. Take the recent SpongeBob SquarePants movie, for instance...."

OVERHEARD BY EVAN