Perfect For Today


Woman 1: "I can't believe it's March already!"

Woman 2: "Well, that's because it's not. It's a leap year."

OVERHEARD BY MARGOT

'That Explains Why Everyone Was Dressed Like Heinekens'

Girl: "Hey, Steve, what's the theme of your guys' party tonight?"
Steve: "Uhhhh, beer?"

OVERHEARD BY WHURLEY

Nervous Guy In Bar, Smiling Sheepishly At His Date

"Actually, I've never gotten a booty call."

OVERHEARD BY MARIANNA

Guy Giving Very, Very, Very Slight Compliment To His Friend

"You're like a sociopath, only a little more friendly."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Woman With Less Of A Glow Than Usual

Woman: "Ohhh, what are you having?"
Pregnant Woman: "A baby."
Woman: "Awww, what kind of baby?"
Pregnant Woman: "Human."
Woman: "Okay, well, good luck!"

OVERHEARD BY WHURLEY

Logicians At SFO Airport

Girl: "Is that guy the pilot?"
Guy: "He's either the pilot or the co-pilot."
Girl: "God is my co-pilot."
Guy: "Then he must be the pilot."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Two Girls At The GAP

Girl 1: "Man, these shoes are killing my feet."
Girl 2: "Oooh, they sound cute. Let me see."

OVERHEARD BY MK

'Could You Be Any More Vague?'

Student To Teacher: "Are some of these things in other things?"

OVERHEARD BY ZOE

'Even Though Two Of Them Are Dead'

Girl: "I would go out with the Beatles, 'cause they're so handsome and British."

OVERHEARD BY ZOE

Things Only Musicians Can Say With A Straight Face

One Cellist To Another: "I'm gonna stick this in your f-hole!"

OVERHEARD BY ZOE

Most Meaningless Gesture In The World

Man Who Never Locks His House, To His Out-Of-State Girlfriend:
"Remind me to have a set of house keys made for you."

OVERHEARD BY ABIGAIL

Two Women Who've Watched Too Much 'House, M.D.'

"Speaking of Lupus, how are you feeling?"

OVERHEARD BY ZOE

Women In Social Security Office, On Subtle Safety Cues

Woman 1: "Nice blue color. Probably supposed to be for a calming effect, huh?"
Woman 2: "And if that doesn't work, we have the security guard."

OVERHEARD BY TASNICKER

World's Most Ambivalent Superbowl Fan

Guy: "Go football teams! Win and lose!"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Old Society Nob Hill Lady And Her Chauffeur

Her: "So there was a nasturtium in my salad, and then I ate it."
Him: (deadpan) "My that was eventful, I bet."

OVERHEARD BY JONATHAN