Couple Discussing Friend's Vacation Plans

Guy: "Wouldn't it be funny if she was actually selling her baby down in Mexico, and she ended up on 48 Hours Mystery, and we could say we knew her when?"
Girl: "I don't think you understand comedy."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Businessmen Leveraging Their Core Values (i.e. Drinking In A Bar)

Man 1: "I hate the word 'monetize.'"
Man 2: "What does it even mean?"
Man 1: "It means.... Maybe that's why I hate it."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Abbott And Costello Reincarnated And Reading A Textbook In A Café

Kid 1: "This doesn't make any sense."
Kid 2: "What is it?"
Kid 1: "I don't know."
Kid 2: "Then how do you know it doesn't make sense?"
Kid 1: "That's what I'm saying."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Future Politician At High School Football Game

Kid 1: "Hey, you have a dollar?"
Kid 2: "Yeah."
Kid 3: "Can I give you thirty cents for that dollar?"

OVERHEARD BY ANNA

The Problem With Shopping At An Art Fair

Girl: "I want a colorful T-shirt with my views and beliefs on it!"

OVERHEARD BY GAGE

Facetious Guy Watching Sarah Palin Being Cheered By Delegates

"She can't even control the crowd. How can she stand up to Putin?"

OVERHEARD BY TIM

Man Not Very Good At Flirting

"If you were a turkey, I would definitely pardon you."

OVERHEARD BY TIM

'But Is It Organic?'

Cell Phone Woman: "He wants me to stop doing my pills and smoking crack, but he won't stop smoking weed. He says weed isn't a drug, 'cause it's natural. Well, cocaine is natural, too."

OVERHEARD BY BETH