'The Classic Conundrum: Which Came First, The TV Or The Air Hockey Table?'

Guy: "And that's when the puck hit the TV."
Girl: "They shouldn't have put the TV so close to the air hockey table."
Guy: "The TV was already there."
Girl: "In that case, they shouldn't have put the air hockey table so close to the TV."
Guy: "The table was already there."
Girl: "..."


OVERHEARD BY LADYOFTHEICE

Guy Covering All The Bases With Prospective Date

“I’m not religious--I’m spiritual. I guess I’m a Christian, but Jesus wasn’t one.”

OVERHEARD BY ROD

'And This Will Probably Be True For The Next Few Christmases'

Customer: "What are you doing this Christmas?"
Clerk: "Well, it's been five years and Dad's still dead so.....you know."

OVERHEARD BY KERRI

Overheard Lines Is Closed For The Holidays; Back On Dec 29

"Don't be one of those people who says, 'Oh, man, I heard something great at my cousin's cookie swap; I wish I'd written it down.' Stop your holiday enjoyment and scribble down your overheard lines -- then submit when you're back on company time! A holiday message from your OL host. Have a good one!"

SAID BY TIM

Comedy Aficionado At Target

"How are communist leader Russian nesting dolls not funny?"

OVERHEARD BY EM

Overheard While Waiting For A Bus

Girl: "I have to learn how to play poker so I can get a poker face."

OVERHEARD BY SARA

Teens In 'Issues In Society' Class With Issues Of Their Own

Teen 1: "What's that thing when you're sitting behind blinds at a pond, and you shoot ducks, and the dog goes to get them?"
Teen 2: "Um, duck hunting?"
Teen 1: "No, that's not it..."

OVERHEARD BY KIERSTIN

The Castro, It Is A-Changin'

Guy: "This used to be all gay stuff, but now it’s just all yuppie stuff..."

OVERHEARD BY MK

'Sounds Like She's A Carrie'

Guy 1: "Hey, thanks for playing wingman the other night. Too bad she had so many issues."
Guy 2: "Yeah, when I heard her mention the ex-boyfriend for the third time, I knew it was trouble. I've seen enough Sex in the City to know where that road leads."

OVERHEARD BY JEFF

Overheard In The Dressing Room

Girl 1: "That would make a good homecoming dress."
Girl 2: "I don't know, it looks like a pregnant girl dress."
Girl 1: "Well, if you wear it right, it could be both!"

OVERHEARD BY MK

Woman Explaining Why Her Daughter's Girl Scout Troupe Sucks

"No snacks, no crafts, just a bitch lecturing first graders."

OVERHEARD BY MK

'I Always Thought Confident Girls Were Whores'

Girl: "They haven't done it yet! I think she's frigid."
Friend: "Really? She seems well-confident to me."
Girl: "Oh, you can be well-confident and frigid."
Friend: "Oh...I didn't know that."

OVERHEARD BY PATRICIA

'Problem Is, Geeks Would Find An Alternate Use'

Woman: "I love my iPhone. The only thing that's missing is a hole for me to stick my tongue in and make out with it."

OVERHEARD BY MK

Woman Who Will Soon Be Moving To Another Town

Daughter: "I think writing checks is complicated. You write one, and then you have two days to make sure you have the money to cover it. It's a pain in the ass!"
Mom: "That's not how checks are supposed to work."
Daughter: "But on the other hand, if it bounces, you can still keep the stuff. Just don't go back to that store."
Mom: "Umm...yeah, that's not how checks work...."

OVERHEARD BY ERINMARIE

Master Of Seduction In A UK Pub

Bloke: 'I'm going to go home now, jump on my old woman and give her one.'
Mate: 'I hope she'll get a bit of foreplay.'
Bloke: 'What? At this time of night?'

OVERHEARD BY O.B.

'Good Name. Bad Names.'

Woman: "Dust and Glitter. That's a great name."
Man: "For what?"
Woman: "It's a store."
Man: "Ah, okay. Good name for a store. Not good for twins."
Woman: "Poor Dust. 'Mom always liked you better, Glitter.'"

OVERHEARD BY MK